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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Behold The Olympic Cyclops

Did I say "massive fail"? Isn't this like a horse designed by a committee?

There have been some pretty awful Olympic mascots, but these have to be the worst, androgynous one-eyed freaks of nature.

You be the judge of the design of Wenlock andMandeville:

Click here for video of the inventors of the Olympic Cyclops. (I would have embedded it but it's an "autorun" video, which bothers some people.)

The most certain sign of the decline of Western Civilization.

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  1. I'm the judge, Professor? Cool!

    DEATH! (slams down gavel)

    The numbskulls who came up with Izzy from the 1996 Olympics are thrilled they have been relieved of the distinction "Creators of the Worst Olympic Mascot EVER." Izzy was a face with legs, arms, hands and feet, but no head. I guess the Brits figured, "Hey, who even needs a face?"

    BTW - I have to wonder if the lawyers for the avant-garde musical group The Residents are exploring their options.

  2. What...the...hell?


    And was that a Nazi salute at the end or something?

  3. One more thing: I didn't think the mascot could have possibly topped the London 2012 logo in lameness, but they kept that Brit upper lip stiff and got the job done. For a hilarious take from 2007 on the seemingly brown acid-inspired symbol from a English comedienne, click here.

  4. Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

  5. They need to review Red Matters Media's review of Avatar so they can see how these are supposed to be done. They need Disneyeyes.

  6. Ummm...looked at the pic Smithee posted...looked again at the video.

    Yeah, Nazi salute more than the Usain Point is what it looks like.

  7. Fail. Worse than the Chinese mascots, and MUCH worse than the Greece Olympics mascots (I thought those were the worst that they could get). I underestimated "stupid" again! :D

  8. A mascot is a subordinate creature of entertainment, so it isn't right to associate the mascot with any country or sect in the world. This is a multicultural requirement to not offend or praise any one group, sect, country, or belief to the exclusion of any other.

    This leaves only one strategy, to select mascots from Mars, at least until Mars is included in the UN.

  9. Professor Jacobson - what a racist remark about an innocent mascot. You wouldn't say something like that about the Philly Fanatic because he'd jump into the stands and poke his snout in your face.

    It is merely an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual decline of the British empire and sensibility. No wonder Stephen Hawking looks skyward for black holes of escape. When was the last time you saw great art emanating from those shores? Exactly. I rest my case and my clamor.