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Friday, June 25, 2010

Milk is Oil

No really. Milk is Oil according to the EPA, EPA classifies milk as oil, forcing costly rules on farmers:

Having watched the oil gushing in the Gulf of Mexico, dairy farmer Frank Konkel has a hard time seeing how spilled milk can be labeled the same kind of environmental hazard.

But the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is classifying milk as oil because it contains a percentage of animal fat, which is a non-petroleum oil.

The Hesperia farmer and others would be required to develop and implement spill prevention plans for milk storage tanks. The rules are set to take effect in November, though that date might be pushed back.

There will be no Gulf Oil Spill in dairyland. Our government is on the job.

I wish I could think up some more snark about this, so help me out.

(h/t to Small Dead Animals via Watts Up With That)

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  1. So, um, the EPA is crying over spilled milk?

  2. Sorry, Professor, I have no snarky comments, just outrage! AAAHHhhhhh!! EPA deems:

    Milk = oil (petroleum, since it contains "fat")
    CO2 = pollutant (exhaled by people)

    What's next? Drinking water = government-owned environmental resource, rationed by EPA? O2 = toxic pollutant (it is toxic to plants)? Reduce the CO2 levels by controlling the population (like, say, China...)?

    The EPA needs to be dismantled. They are environmental thugs exercising tyrannical control over the people. I believe Obama, and the other Alinskites, saw this one a while ago. Use these non-accountable-to-Congressional-oversight ginormous agencies to implement by fiat their agenda.

  3. snark aside, i am starting to be really creeped out by the totalitarian instincts of this administration. For instance, if you review the ABA v. the FTC over the red flags rule, you will find out that the FTC put out regulations that would declare an extremely large number of people to be credits. Who would be a creditor under this rule? Anyone who regularly experienced a delay between work performed and payment recieved which is, um, everyone, right? i mean does anyone at all get paid exactly at the moment they work?

  4. Lactating Whales, Walruses and Seals be warned! Breast feeding your calf in or near open water is now an EPA offense as your milk contains 50% more fat than your land cousins.

  5. Milk does kill everything if it gets directly into the water. Ask any Hazmat guy in dairy country what happens if you dump it in a trout stream. That said, it is ridiculous to put it in the same category as oil.

  6. Oh, and breathing is now regulated (CO2) so we might as well put mufflers on our *ahem* exhaust ports at both ends to prevent greenhouse gases.

    Can't be too intrusive can it?

  7. It is increasingly apparent that the primary (possibly only) purpose of the EPA is to destroy the modern world by getting in the way of anything and everything that might, in some way, benefit humans.


  8. What's next? Regulating breastpumps?

  9. A list should be made of those agencies that are stopping progress, in the way for no reason, irrelevant, etc. Here is a partial one:

    DEA - who ever said the government could limit
    your access to meds? This forces you to
    your doctor, who might not know any more
    than you and sure cost like hell (I am a
    OSHA - in the way and redundant
    EPA - never should have been organized
    Home Land Security - a joke, a very cruel one
    TSA - basically illegal

    This is partial, given time I could think of many more and imagine the savings!!

  10. Will nursing mothers have to wear HAZMAT suits?
    You know, if we didn't know that Obama was really a socialist, we might believe that he was a conservative parody of a socialist, to implement the most ludicrous aspects of the nanny statism that gets most Americans rightly riled, just so he would drive Americans back to sanity.

  11. I live across the street from a public school.

    How would I go about demanding to see their hazmat contingency plan and MSDS sheets? I wouldn't want some kid spilling his or her milk in the cafeteria and contaminating the whole neighborhood.

  12. Future News,

    The EPA announced today that a 2,500,000 gallon milk spill was narrowly averted in Barrington, MO, at the farm of John Milkman.

    Reporter: What is the story here?
    Milkman: We have a 2,500 gallon tank here for the milking operation. Pretty big, if I say so myself. Well, I was walking by the tank, when my pants pocket caught on the delivery valve, and some milk began leaking out.

    Reporter: A disaster!
    Milkman: I suppose. Well, that EPA man in that kiosk over there, the one assigned to me, he saw it pretty fast, and yelled at me to turn off the valve. Sure, I did that quick.

    Reporter: How much milk spilled?
    Milkman: Uh, about five gallons, I think, but those three EPA inspectors over there will know the exact amount by the end of the day, they say.

    Reporter: Are you in trouble?
    Milkman: They say that I have to pay a fine, and file a plan for wearing different pants, so that this can't ever happen again.

    Reporter: I also see a Fish and Wildlife team.
    Milkman: Sure, something about an endangered earthworm. Life sure is complex these days. And those other guys are checking the ground water.

    Reporter: Thankfully, a disaster was averted.
    Milkman: Yeah, I just want to start operations again in two days like they promised. Those cows are getting upset.

    - -
    EPA Purity of Essence

    A collection of stories about the bonehead decisions of our EPA and government about handling the oil spill. Not as funny as this Future News, and even more stupid.

  13. This power grab by the EPA is udderly ridiculous!

  14. I worked for a Papermill for 12 years and one of the goofiest spill reports that I saw was for a spill of approx. 12,000 gallons of "mill water" which is water from the river that had been clarified and sanitized with chlorine for mill use, but not for drinking. even though it was water cleaner than the source we had to report the spill and pay our fine!