Le·gal In·sur·rec·tion

what a goober..... when the women of America complain that they can't find a decent guy to marry, remember that this is the kind of whiney wimp they said they wanted.

IMHO, he picked the woman in Saipan to fall in love with because he knew it would never work out. Fits in a pattern with his previous romantic picks. And yes, I would say this guy is the flip side of the women who say they can't find someone.

Successful relationships are about relating to the other person. First blush of love is chemistry. Falling deeper in love is a revelation of what one's desires and values are. If one really values their own singleness and doesn't want to share themselves intimately, then no matter the protestations of "I SO want a spouse and family", they are always going to "fall in love" with someone unavailable.

All I can say is: 1) I'm sorry I wasted 2 minutes of my life (that I'll never get back) actually reading that story; and 2) thank god I'm married. My favorite part has to be "as he grinds garlic and spices with a mortar and pestle...." Noticeably absent is "as he sits on a rug hand crafted by indigenous, physically challenged pygmies smugly sipping his half-caf non-fat latte...."

Oh how sad. Of course, he'll always have the towering self-regard that allows him to fancy himself an educated commenter on romantic love, despite his raging failures on the subject.

And, of course, he's so interesting that he deserves a Times article.

I think his love of self fulfills him enough. Woe to the woman that tries to break him up with himself.

"...In the cotton-candy-colored bathroom, there was none of the hair or dust one might expect to see in a bachelor pad. And nearly every wall of his apartment was decorated with paintings of flowers, a collection he has spent more than two decades amassing...."

"...Ask him about his work as a journalist and he holds forth like a modern-day Marxist, ...”

"..Pouring mint tea into two glasses, he explained that while he has no regrets about his past, he still wants nothing more than to fall in love and start a family. “At a certain point, one wants it all to stop, and just to settle down and be boring and normal,” he said.
”

Poor thing! So Refine! So Delicate! What woman would want to breed with the human-equivalent of a Pomeranian?

Re: "Over the years, he admitted, friends have accused him of being afraid of intimacy..."

They're right!

He'd have to buy a pet step to get a lady in that bed.

Huh. Something tells me this article won't help him get a date.

It looks like he may need a step ladder to go to bed.

I had to google the "spool table", which turned out to be a kind of a low table, only round. Still no idea that that quip was supposed to mean. Probably not a compliment.

I took your advice. Didn't read the article. What does a woman want? A manly man. A man of honor in the Harvey Mansfield sense:

"Manly men defend their turf, just as other male mammals do. The analogy to animals obviously suggests something animalistic about manliness. But manliness is specifically human as well. Many men defend not just their turf but their country. Manliness is best shown in war, the defense of one's country at its most difficult and dangerous. In Greek, the word for manliness, andreia, is also the word for courage."

More on all that from my March 2006 blogpost "In spring a young man's fancy"

http://bit.ly/bBjuIE

And my December 2009 blogpost "Will Sarah Palin endorse Scott Brown"

http://bit.ly/6ECuCQ

Since you asked. : )

I'm gonna guess Sagittarius, with a whole lotta Aquarius going on and perhaps a touch of high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome.

@Kelly, when I first read your post, I thought it said "...won't help him get a dude." lol Not that there's anything wrong with that.

MissTammy for the win! =o)

Seriously, for f%#('s sake,what a wuss.

Hey! I had a spool table! (For the uninitiated, telephone cables used to be shipped around round wooden spools, which came in a variety of sizes, several of which were suitable for use as tables.

ザイツェヴ ,

A spool table is a table that college kids make from taking the spindles left over from telephone pole cables, after the cables have been hung on the poles. They're table-like is you lay them on their sides. They're the province of bachelors who are still spending their money on beer and weed instead of on aesthetics.

what floor does he live on?



its always been bootstraps or bitchslaps, cupcake

computer in bedroom kills all thoughts of love and romance..... :)

I don't get it??? Maybe I am just too old to care?

It could be worse for him. He could be living downstairs in this Mother's basement. I read the comments, here. No need to click on the story.

Looks like a '50s dorm room at a boy's only boarding school to me and his attitudes appear to support the theory that in his heart he still may be there.

Peter Pan - you can fly back to earth anytime. Leave the flower paintings and come - but those may not have to do with immaturity, alas.

@Angelaw - that idea did cross my mind when I read the article!

I'm thinking I see a bell tower and a high-powered rifle in this guy's future.

The NYT paints a picture of an intellectually superior guy who is sensitive and unlucky in love.

The reality is the guy's genetic pool has allowed him to evolve into a 45 year old mint tea sipping creme puff. The process of natural selection means he can't find a mate to pass on his effete genes.

Darwin scores.

Wonder if he still has the milk crate shelving from his college pad.

They don't leave cinder blocks lying around anymore because of decorating like that.

Problem is, he comes off as a bit of an effete dandy, which will hardly set hearts racing or get "ginas" to tingle. And since true believers such as himself would never THINK of dating conservatives or libertarians (the horror!), that will limit his options even more. In the words of John Derbyshire, "Dooooomed."

When I came across Legal Insurrection I was pleased to have found an intelligent blog of substance. I hope this post is a temporary aberration.

> What does a woman want? A manly man. A man of honor in the Harvey Mansfield sense

You can find women who want just about anything, in the same way that you can find men who want just about anything. There are even men who enjoy women who trade in superficial stereotypes. Why they find them attractive is beyond me, but that's diversity for you.

He should hook up with Elizabeth Weil. They deserve each other.

I'm thinking we'd all be better off if this guy doesn't breed.

MissTammy,

As an Aquarian, I take offense. I'm a woman and I'm still more macho than this guy. It's a shame really, he's the little girl my mother always wanted, but my dad would have kicked his butt. Although, I do think there is a social thing with Aquarians. For example, I SUCK!! at small talk. I can have in depth converstions with friends, but casual conversations with stangers- forget about it.

But I doubt that he'll find someone to spend his life with if he thinks of married life/normal life as boring. Hopefully, he'll find someone. But if he keeps up the attitude, he'll spend the rest of his life writing about love instead of living it.

C.S. Lewis, a war hero, author, and amateur theologian found his true love in his 60s. Alcoholics, addicts, and overgrown children can all learn to turn it around, straighten up, get some values and find someone. While the smart money is on this guy being doomed there is always some measure of hope even right up until the end. Anybody of a sufficiently religious bent realizes that people can learn and change. The tragedy isn't that our subject can't change but rather that he probably won't.

I had to read the comments on this post to figure out what the point of the article was.
Ditto, ditto ditto and... ditto.
Just because no one understands you doesn't make you an artist. And just because you are unlucky in love does not make you a philosopher.