It is no secret that the children of certain families (and we all know who we are) are primed to take a disproportionate share of the places at the best—or at least the most prestigious—colleges. .... But just in case our children don't quite have the stats to make it into, say, Georgetown or UNC on their own steam, you can bet that we, as parents, will do everything in our power to make it happen. We are all caught up in a crazy arms race, where the order of the day (to borrow a useful term from the Cold War) is 'escalation dominance.'
And if all of the above isn't stomach-churning enough, there is for-hire college counseling, which steps in when your kid, like mine, has a major freak-out, convinced that, without specialized help, he will end up having to go, God forbid, to Rutgers (where his father is on the faculty). The private college counselor told our son exactly what he'd heard from his regular guidance counselor and from us. But she also gave him an Office Depot filing system to help keep things organized, tips about how to get a campus interview even for schools that don't do on-site interviews (ask a professor to meet with you) and why it's important not to have a cellphone message that says things like, "Hi, butt-face, talk." But compared to the SAT tutoring, she was a bargain, a mere $701.25 to date.Is going to a so-called "better" college worth it? Is the system fair? The first question is the subject of seemingly endless study, which almost always concludes: It depends. The second question is easier to answer: Of course it isn't fair. Despite diversity goals, scholarships, loans, all kinds of waivers of application fees, and various other leg-up programs, the entire application system is so unjust that it makes the House of Lords look like a New England town meeting.
Getting into a good school does not have to cost an arm and a leg. If it does, you're doing it wrong. If you've been a good student for eighteen years, colleges will take notice. If you have been slacking off, the chances that a decent standardized test score will change everything are slim. I suggest everyone try hard, maybe enroll in an SAT prep course or get a good book because there is a method to taking standardized tests. It is not, however, some sort of "club secret." Virtually everything I heard in my prep class could be found on the internet for free. The only redeeming quality for the pricetag was that it forced me to pace my studying in a way I probably wouldn't have on my own.
"Extras," like checking out the prospective school in person, shouldn't be looked upon as some sort of critical step to "getting in" - you should have a vested interest in seeing what a campus is like before you submit yourself to possibly live there for four years anyway! Take it easy, one of the best roadtrips I've ever had was with my Mom to check out the college of William & Mary and Gettysburg College over the course of one weekend. I didn't fly out to Stanford or Cal, I happened to be living in the area that summer and thought it would be fun to see what colleges were like. It was. A $700 college counselor? Here's a tip for free: don't look like a jerk on the internet. Ever.
I know some tales of nepotism and, sure, it happens. I knew a girl that had a high school GPA that reflected her partying habits who now attends a very prestigious school. It's really no secret as to how she got in. However, a conversation with her makes it incredibly obvious that her enrollment is a joke and her facebook statuses certainly reflect how painfully bad she was fit for the job. My point being that you should strive to go to a school you academically belong to. Sure you can dance your way through by paying out the nose for a coach ... or a college, but a loftier goal would be getting into a college where you will actually learn and improve.
College admissions is a bit of a crapshoot today because of the high-volume. There are dozens and dozens of people with a similar resume applying to nearly every one. If you are well-credentialed to get into a certain type of school, though, I propose you increase your odds by sending out applications to schools of a similar caliber - just in case. For the most part though, don't think it is the end-all-be-all if you don't get into Notre Dame or Middlebury. I saw too many of my friends thinking their self-worth was correlated to their admissions packets, probably because of the hype around this industry and articles like this. It isn't. The most important thing I got from the college admissions process was the opportunity to give myself an evaluation of my wants, needs, and abilities that I had never bothered examining before. You cannot buy that from some sort of wonk or agency - though don't think people won't try to sell it.
Also, as an aside, I was particularly peeved at the Rutgers slight by the author's son. If Ms. Moses' son is considering graduate school, Rutgers would really be an excellent choice to make so that he doesn't come out of his academic career loaded down with tons of debt. (For the record, Rutgers was my second-choice since it has such a fantastic philosophy department. For those who are curious, I attended NYU for two years because of the reputation of their phil. department - as well as the merit scholarship I received.)